More Stories For Akha Chronicles, Edit

 

Mini Stories

Chin man had 16 wives

village problem solving

opium smokers were least likely to drop culture

"Private Forgiveness"

de-development

Verbo villages

Thais copied the Americans, the worst parts, parks - no people

 

The negative attitude of the Thais toward the Akhas, and many expats, was similar to the white American attitude towards the American Indians, blacks.

 

The Old Chinese Guy from Kenai Peninsula and his Tea Farm, Shan wife, he got cut off.

 

Cary May of 1995

Insert, having just come out of having to borrow $5,000 to settle a dispute with Cary Bartholomew for money that I did not owe him I know something about this.  More details here.  The brother coming up here made it worse.

 

Father Norman

9 coins or 9,000 kyat

 

The Lover

The afternoon hung still in the air as ripe fruit on a tree in the shade, not even the dust having the energy to move. She came to him softly where he lay  in the cool room.

She was such a splendid lover. Matured into a woman.  Often with a far away look in her eye, he only wished that he could tell what it was that she was thinking. Softly familiar to his touch he wondered if she knew how much it was that he loved her?

Her black hair strewn across the pillow she looked to the side through the open window to the whitewashed wall of the patio.

A long time he had loved her and just as often he had to leave her. These departures tore at him and even now as he lay beside her looking at the silver light settled on her face, he wondered if she loved him anymore.

He felt for her because he knew life in these parts was not always so easy. In the end she could be discarded by her friends.

He wondered if she loved anybody? What was it that he saw in the eyes so quiet as she lay there?

He tried not to think of how many lovers she had but he knew that he was not the only one. He never had been. Possibly if he had offered her a more secure situation it would have made a difference. But he realized that this would have been too easy and he was only kidding himself.

And so both time and opportunity passed, rocking them gently in different directions as the currents of the sea, to occasionally allow them the chance to glimpse one another for a moment.

More than anything this was a searching of the heart for him because he wondered how it could be in life that love, like a vapor, slips through the fingers when he so dearly tried to grasp it and draw it into his embrace.

Love did not seem so strong and it may have passed by before he even noticed it had come, so subtle was it’s breath upon his cheek.

He asked that she come back but knew as he did so that very possibly she would not so soon come again.

Gathering her clothes to herself, she took her umbrella and walked away down the street in the soft sunlight. He watched sadly.  He wished that there would be a little more light cast into the shadows between them as now the candle that they both held only weakly flickered in the winds of time and he feared that the next gust or the one after that would snuff it out completely.

But he had never known love to end well, otherwise he guessed it would probably need not end at all. Could it be that love never lived as more than a vapor within the human heart?

No doubt many an eye had filled with mist at watching the departing of a friend and love taking a piece of their heart with them.

He returned to his desk and aimlessly shuffled the papers as the shadows grew upon the wall and in his heart as well.

 

Commentary:

The British Woman's Donated Cash

A letter in reply

 

I got your air mail letter from England but no sign of the one from Bangkok with the cash in it. You never know in Thailand.

As to the situation on the border here I am no expert. I think overall I feel some sympathy for the Burmese government and people. I understand the government is full of difficulties and people acuse Burma of a lot of human rights violations. Yet this is all relative. Having lived here some time I find that often if not always the motives of the west are not what they seem.  My impression is that the west has to have consumers to keep its production lines going, its growth economy policy in motion for another generation or so. Yet there is no way that the world environment can sustain the pressures that are going to be put to it if everyone would like to live like Americans or Europeans live. I say that gently, but because I have seen here that a lot of people would like to get into Burma to exploit it and that is not possible so much with a strong government military or otherwise. I would certainly not advocate American style Democracy for anyone, rife with hypocrysy and deceptions. And I am an American!

Before I go on from my soap box here let me say that I think the Burmese government has opened itself up to problems from the west because it has not so much kept its house in order. But I don’t think that makes it collectively worse than the American system, just different and now, like other eastern countries it is going to find itself going through paiinful changes. And you can be sure that these changes are not going to be good for these people western democracy says it is here to help, but for exploitive big business, with most Burmese ending up having to work much longer and harder for more things that they don’t need.

One of the reasons that I don’t trust the intentions of the west when it comes to Burma is that when it comes to helping the little guy it doesn’t happen. But the rich get richer. The Burmese in charge will have difficulty holding onto their positions as it all unwinds and Burma becomes another country on line for uni-thought global style.

My feelings on western good intention would be questions like why the British, and excuse me once again but I am sure I as an American am just as painfully aware of American mistakes, don’t kick in some money to help the people who were so adversely effected by the opium trade it started and left in this region of the world? Here we have families that don’t function very well because of the effects of opium on the people and their descendants who were originally pressed into growing it . I would be glad if some British people of conscience would help with money and materials for these hill tribe people for whom opium is a scourge. The streets of Maesai are full of Akha children, malnurioused and dirty, dutifully begging for money for their parents’ opium habits. 

I am of the feeling that some time of constructive engagement on the part of the west in in order. A lot of poor people will suffer if the west pressures and expects Burma to change too quickly. I work with a lot of individuals in and out of government and these people help me get the help to the individuals that need it. People are people and there are good ones and bad ones all mixed together. 

As to prisons, well I know that in America as I write there are over a million American men in prison. Certainly an industry. Certainly evil when on such a large scale. Certainly all those wardens need all those jobs and so much so that Clinton just aproved another $10 Billion to build more, quite an industry. When you need to lock that many people up there is something wrong with the society that would willingly generate and allow so many people to be going down the wrong road. Or maybe it has to do with judgement and compassion. Usually the haves don’t care too much about who is in prison as long as their own kids get passed over for the same offences.  About Burmese prisons I know nothing. But I do know that there are a lot of misfits in America put in prison,  and blacks and Indians and such.  So to answer your question, I would say that I don’t know much about any of these things other than to say that I think the majority of interest in the west on the part of governments is self serving. I think the British treated the Burmese people as inferior human beings over being British.

 

April 2, 1995

Ellen:

(for journal notes) build out stories

Your letter was a bit of encouragement that I needed at the time and I appreciate the gift enclosed.

More often than not these days there are things which I find discouraging, not all having to do with the Akha.  A few problems in my life as well with just making ends meet.  I have a lot of knowledge of the area and I try to put some of it into stories but I lack the mental frame of mind much of the time from which my best writing comes.  In addition I don’t know anything about the writing market except that it is difficult to get in.

The photos were beautiful, especially the ones of Appa and her baby.  She spent a year in prison in Bangkok and then they took her father away to prison before she could say goodbye to him that morning when she had packed a few things for him and had gotten a friend to write a letter.  He died in prison, or so they said.  And I was so happy for her when she had her baby  because of all that had happened to her.  Your letter caught all that and how beautiful she has become, casting off the past.  They bring tears to my eyes.  I am going to draw a little sketch from them and then send them over.

I moved out of the office.  Back into the Maesai Plaza Guest House.  Like a big ship docked next to the pier it gives me some solace and is so much quieter than the other place.  Better, it contributes a lot of the atmosphere I need for my writing, and I got my old room 61 with all its pleasant gentle memories which needed only a slight dusting off where they sat in a warm glow as what lights up Appa’s face.

I fear sometimes that I have withdrawn too much, but maybe it is only a reconsideration of my work here and whether I am of much use.  Without funding I am not able to do much of the research that I need to do to familiarize myself more completely with the culture and the villages.  Thailand needs exploring, there are many villages to the south of here.

The photo of the kids in the water.  Remember, one that you sent?  Well look at yours again because all the trees are dead and all the houses are gone.  The palms are dead as well.  We had a war here.  Khun Sa’s boys came into town with heavy machine gun fire and rockets about 4AM.  The DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM of a heavy gun still rings in my mind.  A grenade hit near the bathrooms here at the guest house and a few stray bullets.  Several people were killed on the other side.  Most of Khun Sa’s boys retreated to the Thai side where they got whisked away, but a few foolishly stayed near the neighborhood in your photo on the Burmese side where the Burmese army blasted them with heavy machine gun fire, grenades, anti tank rockets and incendiaries until they finally burned them out around 2 PM and the wind caught the flames spreading them to the thatched roofs until it was all gone.  Apocalypse Now kind of stuff.  People hauling their possessions as they waded across the river,  a ceiling of black smoke spread above their heads like clouds of black rage.  Then a white flag went up and three to five guys surrendered to certain deaths of torture.

As to coming here,  I don’t think it is a problem as long as we are careful.  As to your friend I don’t know because even without her passport showing she was born in Burma, I am sure she would stick out like a sore thumb going in.  I think the Burmese have a real thing about people who left Burma and didn’t come back.  Suspecting it, they would only have to see one slip up and then start getting an ugly light on the whole thing.  Political subversive type stuff.  For her own safety i would recommend she stay in Thailand.

The road to Cheng Tung is open and closed, presently the border point is also closed, no one sure why except possibly because of the Thais not handing Khun Sa’s men over.

Right now I am working with a fellow from New Zealand on an amateur film about the Akha and the destruction of Akha culture.  He did one about two years ago that was too general.  So now I am rapping with him and sending him around through the circuit I know to get more details.

As well I met a photographer from Australia who has worked on Burma stories for four years.  He has a lot of good insight on how this area got so messed up and one of the main king pins is the latest son of an old missionary family in the region, Mr. Bill Young.  According to the Ausie, this Young family works for the CIA as well as being one of the head honchos in the Baptist Mission I think it is.  Missionary principles were altered as necessary to meet other needs the story goes.

This explained a lot of things about why so many problems weren’t being addressed in the Akha villages as I looked at it, so we are interviewing as many people as we can.

In addition I am following up a story on sterilizations that the other Baptist missionary Paul Lewis organized.  (who is also said to have worked for the CIA) 

There are a whole heck of a lot of leads on different causes of problems the Akha are experiencing.  I think that the first thing on my agenda is to get some funding for research in the villages with some video equipment.  Even better if other people keep coming in and researching the stories.

And I think that a general “Anthropological study” of the Akha pretty much would cover everything.

I am still thinking about the doctor thing.  The situation in Burma needs to stabilize a little bit and I need to look more closely at the villages.  I made a good long trip up with a man from New Zealand, an oil rig fellow, a few weeks ago.  I got into some different Akha villages and was able to leave a lot of medicine.  Unbelievably hot it was.  The people have no one looking after them it would appear.

Then when the border closed two weeks ago I made some trips down into some Akha villages in Thailand and was surprised to see such discouraging sights as I did.  I think that there is a lot of story there with the missionary and the destruction of the culture as well as the fact that the villagers aren’t doing what they should be. 

I do hope that you will come back quickly to this area and put together some kind of story.  I am sad that I am ideally located here, with a growing knowledge of the language, and have so few resources for gathering more information and taking out more medicine.  Most of the families in the villages on both sides of the border are facing a real struggle.  MMM.  Missionaries, military and Marketplace.  The three steps of cultural destruction. 

One advantage that the Akha have, though nothing is rosy in Burma for them, is that they don’t have a role similar to the Karen, fighting the government. Just the same I know of men who served in the Burmese army and raped girls at gun point,  I said I know them personally.  What a creepy feeling.  The world is a f- - ked up place, I want to get out.

I knew US GI’s who did similar things in Vietnam.

I will try to get to Dr. Cynthia as soon as I can make travel like that.

As to the AIDS problem, I think that there needs to be some work done on analyzing what the situation is in the Thai villages. Lots of rumors. Few facts.

However one approaches Burma, I think that it is good to keep in mind that no matter how bad the country is they are still more pro western and more conservative about things like prostitution than Thailand is.  For this reason the more they can be encouraged to stay moderate, and the more one can appear to be complimenting that conservative approach the more hope there is for staving off a tragedy with the hill tribe there.

There are a lot of people on a witch hunt after Burma politically and I think it best to stay out of that and opt for the practical things that can be encouraged now. 

I know that if my actions were at all construed to be political it would be the end of any help I would ever be able to supply the Akha in Burma.  They already had their missionaries where the ends justified the means.  And as badly as the British stirred up the whole ethnic mess I don’t think it will be any time soon that a Burmese married to a Brit is going to run the country.  I don’t know why people in the west can’t see that connection.  Now it would be best if that person handed that job to another person.

As you felt, I also felt that we had so much more to talk about.  But I am understanding about impulse and the timeliness of going off the cuff.  I wanted to tell you that I haven’t met very many level headed women of your class especially when it comes to subjects which can be so heated in the west and where most westerners look for the quick scapegoat.

I am finding frustration with the instability in Burma and the time that it is taking to get into the more remote villages.  I always have to work at it and be careful.  I wish that more could be done to encourage the young people to hang onto the traditions.  Marketplace destruction of values.  One of the sad things that I am experiencing is that the Akha leadership is so poor and that they are always waiting for someone to do something for them.  Meanwhile the children suffer.  One of the things that wears me down here is the lack of belief people have that anything can be done to make anything better and the lack of belief on the part of westerners that any of the culture can be saved almost to the point that they would like to participate in its accelerated destruction. 

                 I am not much of a salesmen and raising funds is difficult for me.   If I was a better salesman I probably would not be bothering with this corner of the earth in the first place.

Is there anyone there who would fund a basic ground level amount of research, number of villages, where, what religious influence, and agreed upon needs common to most all of them?  Fungicide, antibiotic powder for cuts, scabicide,  head lice medicine, and other odds and ends along the first aid line like electrolyte?   I could get a lot done here if I had some back up.

I have been thinking about this idea of getting the Akha to start using greenhouses more to improve diet and conserve water, as well as save time and provide some cash surplus.  All basic Mother Earth News sort of stuff but completely overlooked here.

I am still working on the language, having just finished my third editing of that word book and I will be making a few copies shortly.  I am improving on the order that I am using as well as using some words twice in two different locations that seem logical.  I have also added close to another fifty or so words that came off my other word lists upon a review.  I know that there is the need for a new dictionary with more than the mainstream dialect because many of the Thai Akha use the lesser used dialect compared to Burma.

Being as you are in San Francisco maybe you could get me an address for the Sino Tibetan Language Society at UC Berkeley?  Maybe someone there might be interested in some of these projects?  There needs to be a lot of work done recording histories and stories and accumulating a history as well as cultural study that can all be put into readily accessible books for general consumption and for teaching the children who have been pushed and taken out of the village.

Another thought on your filming would be to do it in such a way that you kept the children around you as much of the time as you could.  If we were to interview some people we would need to set the camera up in a blind such that they had no awareness of it,  otherwise, not that they care, but they might mention it to someone who did.

The sooner you could work it out the better, while the fields are freshly turned over from some of the other research that is going on here with me.  Maybe some critical mass could be achieved with more and more people making this place more open to inspection.  Much has happened with impunity in the past.

The nearby Catholic man, who is really a gentle fellow, told me that when the Akha go to Thai school, and after they learn their Thai in the first year, then they all end up in the top ten percent of the class.  Maybe the Thais are afraid of them?  If only more would fight back against what is being done to their people and their girls.  Unfortunately numerous Akha’s are involved in the trade, both women and men.

Let’s keep working on ideas.  Write. Come quickly and see what we can do. Because I am entertaining the idea of taking a break to Africa to reinvigorate myself.

Best of everything friend.  Stay well and take good care of yourself.  M.

 

First Meeting of Attur

I met a pleasant Akha girl and have begun to learn her language.  It would appear that I am more interested in learning than she is willing to admit it is her language.  She is taking English tutor lessons.

 

A Gift For Ah Burh

There was this woman I knew here, back in the days when I was running my bead business and having to go back and forth to the US.  I really fell in love with this woman, but I couldn’t speak much at all of her language.  I would have to leave suddenly and go back to the US.  Never was fun, long air flights, everything disrupted and so forth, but for her it was worse, and after about a year of this she left and didn’t come back. I could have called her back if only I had known how. But I didn’t know that either at the time and so it went, looking backwards in life at memories of someone you love, who you got more attatched to than the world around you seemed to allow, with all its hardness and cynicism. 

Later I heard that she married and lived in Chiang Saen.  Didn’t do any good to dim my memories or realize that the boat had pulled away and gone down the river.

Many thoughts of her drift through my mind, houses I lived in while I knew her, old photos, ways which she had, places she worked, her family, friends, and all the world that has swirled on and by us, between us now.

I do not know if there is suitable repayment when a friend goes missing.

I think I saw her one last time crossing the street, that was before I realized she was gone and I never saw her at all after that.  I might have seen her sister once, the one who the fellow shot through the hand trying to break into her house, but that was all.

 

 

 

Reflections

You know how it is to look at old notes of inspiration?  Valuable.  And re-inspiring.  Old notes bring back the old times, the old memories, and that is tremendous.  Not because those times were easy or easier, but because it widens the experience of the present.  It is like stimulating various parts of the brain , turning on the stage lights and discovering you have a whole orchestra still in the shadows of the past.

Memories were one of the most beautiful things that God built into us.  Most of them pleasant, the bad ones having been put to the seasoning poetry of time turning sour bitter thorn fruit into pleasant wine.

the wester use of color to  mark sex, lips

this was most noticeable in Israel

 

Personal Stories and notes

we all get to see what the other fellow is pumping

this comes with the habit of prostitution where all the guys don't mind screwing the same girls, almost at the same time.  an odd kind of thing that people stoop to, believe it or not.

attur

the opium man at San Sook funeral and attur’s mother

 

July  6, 1993

Attur

Attur came over this morning.  Back from her trip to Doungee and Rangoon.

It was cool and rainy.  A sad day.  She was sad too.  She cried .  She saw an opportunity missed and had learned something.  More mature and the cockiness was gone.

I am sad but also that she had to learn the hard way.  Some things are just a sorrow over all.  She never should have been ashamed of her own people.

 

Attur

Attur said to me one time, tapping her finger on m y chest.  “There are many women in here  Such a beautiful way she had of seeing the world.  Often I remember her telling me her vivid dreams.  A place that was a complete world to the Akha.  She was going to meet someone today and she did.  That sort of thing.

That was the life.

I bought her a store box and between her business and my business we separated.  I remember being frustrated because I would try and propel her forward yet she didn’t want to do a lot of things. 

Yet I remember how she would go buy me a “sponsor” electrolyte drink while I sat there.  Then she would talk to me while I drank it.  Then she got into playing cards.  I got into another girl.  I couldn’t change the course of either.  I tried but failed.  She lost much wealth and in the end sold out and went back to the village.

She later married a burmese guy, and has two children in Chiang Mai.

Our relationship was best when in room 28 she didn’t work.  I was there and we did things to gether.  And then my partner continued to lie to me and I had to go back to boost the business and that hurt her greatly.. The uncertainty.

So many years and so far away now.

 

Nov 2000

Attur

I had heard so many kinds of stories that finally I went to Chiangmai and inquired and spotted Attur surrounded by tourists.  I heard her voice almost as soon as I saw her, definitely her voice, the woman I had been married two, now married to another, two kids.

Made me sad.

She was fat, but definitely alive, but looked sad, when I thought of it too.

People had said that she was dead. Sure not. Her mother went to Chiangmai to help with the kids.

 

The Loss of My Wife

The loss of my wife Attur was particularly hard for me as a ship which tears its keel off on the reef, yet appears unchanged.  Attur was a gentle love.  My chocolate midnight sleepy marshmallow.  Always snookered against me as a kitten.  Often her hair hanging in her face, looking to me or murmuring.  Sometimes biting me.  An old friend of hers, a man told her I probably wasn’t coming back on one of my trips and it was probably about this time she picked up a young fellow.  I was gone three months, weekly calls but a tough life.

 

Ban and I go to Loi Tung

This beautifully friendly girl Ban asked to come over and help me bake some bread.   She was so friendly and she showed up on time, beautifully dressed.  We baked some bread and I fixed her some chocolate, which she greately enjoyed .  The bread was great, two plump loaves even better with butter.  Then we locked up and took the motorcycle up the back raod of Doi Tung and off to see one Akha village and a hidden lake.  She liked the lake so much we agreed to come back with lunch on sunday and go for a swim.  Then we headed up the back road and throuogh the creek onto the new blacktop road and headed back for the Royal residence and Huai Krai. We were both covered in red dust and bugs when we got back.

It was funny to see someone so polite interact with the rough Akhas in the village.  Akhas can be loud and of course the life in the villages is  hard by comparison to town.

 

Andy Buys Rubies

So then Andy had little joe help him buy some rubies.  But little joe got a friend in on the deal, they bought high and sold higher, sold to Andy for 17,000 baht, two bags and he couldn’t get his money out.  Charlie, he was always a cut shark player, a man whose face you didn’t want to see too often.  And he told Andy that his stones were only worth 1500 baht so andy felt ripped off and burned down his friendship with little joe.  All these guys were dumb, burning each other when they could.  I kept my transactions simple, only had little joe get videos for me from the burma side.

I didn’t always want to be in this place.  Sometimes I told myself to pick out my three or four or five top priorities, set a deadline, finish them and get out to anywhere but here. Even that was hard to do.  I had this word book to finish, a children’s book to finish and then this book to finish.  That was it really but it all seemed so endless, just kept going on and on.  Especially this book, there was just so much detail that I didn’t have on paper.

But now many of the hard parts of the project were finished, now it was just paying for them to be duplicated.

 

Back in Thailand

Meeh Suur is coming back from her shoe factory job in Bangkok tomorrow.

I had left a message for the family before going to keng tung but they hadn’t gotten her to come h ome.  
So yesterday I picked Asaw Nimit up from San Chai and had him explain to the family.  He said that Nick Atookala had told the family I was a pisser and full of bullshit, wasn’t going to do anything for her.

After  Asaw spoke with them they believed that I would do my best.

Too bad I had to deal with that first.

 

Broken Relationships

It took a lot of patience.

One of the things that I was most troubled by was the “all or nothing” mentality with people here.  The Akha and others.  I was not the only one to experience this event.  Other people working on language projects experienced it also.  There were difficulties with both male and female informants.  It was a whole science.  And not just language work but also relationships.

If one kept their language work separate from their relationships one would think that was best but reality was that the long evening hours with a woman in bed spent talking apart from anything sexual, was some of the most informative time I had ever spent, filling gaps in why things got done the way they did, why people thought the way they did and trying to peice the whole puzzle together.

Ultimately it required a lot of faith in people, the importance of teaching others good things, patience to the task, and an insistence that the good win.

But many times people pulled up stakes and then that was all that there would ever be.  There was no western egalitarian thought, like they might talk to you ever again if you met them on the street, not a chance of that, no matter how much you had done on their behalf or even for members of their family.  Usually the family would not talk to you either, as if in depriving you of their friendship they were achieving some moral victory that moved them or anyone else a centimeter forward in life.

 

Setting up a new house, coming back to Maesai

I have now been back in Thailand almost a month. The most of my money has gone to setting up a new house, which is expensive, no matter what country you do it in, but the money goes farther here. I am frustrated that so much money went into the old one near to Cary’s place. Of course the starting price wasn’t so bad but add on this and that, and it goes up and they pad it etc.

Then with the business going slack, I could have spent it well doing something else.

Here my rent is higher but I am anonymous and don’t have to go in through someone else’s gate, announcing my arrival each time. And to boot, there they came home at 1 in the morning from their night market restaurant with all the barking dogs.

Was her daughter going to do that or would her daughter sell herself to someone from out of town, for a new dress and a new brassiere and some gold?

The Chubby Karaoke Girl

There was one chubby girl who worked down to the Karaoke every evening to earn her keep.  What a future in that.

I have even outlived quite a number of them like Attur’s brother with the big ear infection who died of drug use at 20 after one child he had with that one girl, the name I forget.  Life is cheap, their own lives are cheap.  They silently suffer without imposing anything many times. I can never get used to it.

She was a nice girl, she died suddenly and fast of aids, her mother was caring for the child and came and told me.  I forgot her name.  I had been so happy she married.  But she did not live to 22.

The Chinese Shop where I bought the jewelry tools

 

Cary

One of the players in my life in maesai was Mr. Cary Bartholemew.

Steaks, big faced like the thais

I was carelss, not making note of the nature of the friendwship as it developed and how it might go sour.  He was wealthy gentleman and I was poor.  And he was generous as long as he was more or less in charge and as long as he had the big word in everythging.

Ultimately I agreed to buy one of his motorcycles.  I was looking for a place to rent and do some manufacturing.  A gradfather cottage came open next to his house so I  reemodeled it and moved in./

One problem I came to realize was that any effort I worked on he knew better.  Only thing was that his solutions wer3e expensive, rather than low tech.  and had an air of control to them .  For instance I was trying to buyild a frendly furnace and was having difficulty getting plans.  He offered to put it all together for 50,000 baht or $2,000.  Obviously I couldn't afford that.  In the end I discoverd a thermostat controlled metals kiln ready to go sold for $400-$600 . 

This exagerated cost to everthing made it obvious to me that this gentleman needed very much to stay in a suprerior position in his relationships.

Furthermore, he had difficulty relating to how someone else might feel about something despite his general jolly approach.  And dare not challenge him less he loose his jolly approadch as well.  He didn't like that.  Matter of fact, don't make any comments at all because he always had a contradiction or one better on that.

At any rate, as fate would have it, I wqas no sooner almost complete with the house than my worthless partner in the US folded up shop.  BNot knowing what to do, I decided to go back to Israel and see if I could put together some contacts that would help me here.

I owed him money for this and that.  In time those bills would grow.

Little dod I know that as I left, my partner had also stolen all of my hgolding sin the US.

So oupon gettin to Israel, not making the progress or results I wanted, I decided to sell my holdings in America and settle my bill with Cary as well.  Then I discoverd my hgoldings stolen.

To make a long story short, upon my return to thailand I was billed for all I owed, as well as loosing the hgouise, and having to pay the rent on it as well as not beingh credited for at least $1400 .  In the end I owed $5,000 which was to make my life miserable enough with regular reminders from my l9ocal banker.

It became easier t claim no contest and agree to the amount than stir it up even more.  He felt he was owed $5,000 and that is what his ego neeeded so I would give him $5,000, wearing of his bourish ways and his recollections.

In reality, had some money been retrieved from my interst in the house and had my money to him been counted I would have owed him nothing.  I think I was intimidqated early on and didn't stand up for my side of the bvooks soon enough.  Keep good records, make people sign for transactions no matter what in a book.

 

Flimsy Thai Construction

plaster in the concrete if rebar shows at a strategic lower corner.

hey, if the concrete didn't fill at the bottom of the pillar around the rebar, just plaster it

but there is no twist strength like what would be needed in an earthquake in much of thai construction, probably due to not getting much of that and probably due to being mostly on rice mud which dampens the effect anyway.

I quit saying the words “My Wife”

Cause it made me uneasy, cause soon as they were my wife, the words giving a sense of permanence, they left or I lost them, call it what you want.

 

 

Falang and Akha

Many Akha women gathered around.  It ws the first time they had seen a froegner married to an Akha.  If he wants a little wife never mind, it wwill always go well with you none the less.

mita green shoes

Yes, who are those shoes in the room? Never saw them before.

Wife kidnapped over beads

They tooted for me on the other side of the river. That guy was a pastor too. Got himself lots of trouble, his wife left him.  His partner at the time was the little thin Akha guy who dressed well. I knew his wife, she left him cause she couldn't make a good kid.  A little daffy too.  A little self rejection I would guess.

 

Most Recent Akha

Memories After Deportation

Working Through The Villages

There was a lot to reflect on since I came back from Thailand.  The deportation didn't matter to me, matter of fact it was important, it allowed me to make publicity for the work as well.

 

The memories of my life with the Akha fought to stay to the front, whil time made them try to fade.  These memories wanted to see the abscence like I was just on one more leg of my Akha Crusade, just on a new plateau that did not let me be in Thailand for the moment.

 

I thought often of the truck rolling through the villages, stopping here and stopping there, sitting on porch stoops, looking for this or that person, joining in with village events, listening to or for the hidden indicators that told what was going on in that village, culturally or security wise. This was the work.

 

Now I was in the west and had to do my utmost to learn fundraising and move forward to benefit and protect the Akha and my family, who were still in Thailand.

 

I remembered all my friends, and all the villages, the roads, the weather, the landscapes, the times farming, the many days and years in the lives of the Akha as close as one could get.

 

And it all brought back joy.

 

My wife told me on the phone that Abaw Tooh, from our village had died, he was Booh Teeh's father.

 

She told me about my sons and daughter, what they did, what they said, and I told them what I was doing.  Always looking for something for Cabelli, telling him about fish I had seen or fishing spots.

 

The deportation was intended to end my work, to end my connection to the Akha people.  That it WOULD NOT DO.

 

Non Story Notes:

Deep Trouble at the Bridge of Hope

 

Maesai

Another Bridge, another time, swallows.

A river snakes through the bottom of the valley, cliff like banks, storks, and gray diggers that lived a life along the rim and on the pasture lands.  The ranchers hate them.  The swallows didn't notice, they gave up on the ranchers and all lived under the bridge where they built their nests of mud.  Swallows were fun and funny birds, always playful about life and around people, able to take a feather to heights, drop it and fight over it, not because they needed to work but just for fun.  They built their nests all clustered under the bridge and then one day the ranchers came and shot them.

We  truncate a thought process early by an "approve" - "disapprove" system that prevents imagination and freedom.

We learn to be slaves inside first and we must learn to be free for most all that we do we do based on internal designs. 

Sometimes good designs drive us and sometimes faulty.

I search for kind things, for healing, for valuable ideas and thoughts.

Nurturing the heart and mind, to take care to the soul, to value those good things between people as compared to those things that ruin.

Whatever our religion, we spend our life being born again from what we learned as youth.  Some of it we keep, some of it we get rid of, but life itself is an ongoing rebirthing process.  Not just once I think, but also growing up and strong, like a tree rebirthing our bark, while building stronger and stronger wood inside.

********

 

Maesai

A Mexican Orphanage

I could see the incredible poverty of these people that ran the orphanage near Ensenada, Baja California.  But we learn not to help, rather than learning to help as one might expect or hope until they came to know better.

I thought it would be good to help.

Others asked me why I wanted to do that? I wasn't suppose to take it THAT seriously.

People, important powerful people, are afraid we just might help the poor, and somehow threaten their selfishness and greed.  The old American was holding the orphanage together some how.  The small farm provided feed and food, some livestock, a very old battered truck with bad gears. They weren't so far from the richest country in the world, there in Ensenada.

We drove down to the beach in Ensanada, in the red Ford that the classmate drove. Some hippies were fishing doewn there. They had a  sling shot too. Something I would notice. We turned around. There weren't enough adults with us. Would you let your 17 year old drive his truck to Mexico? On the way up from the beach, the classmate driving lost traction cause there was noone and no weight in the back, sliding as the wheels spun, the back of the truck went off the road to the side, where the hill dropped off.

We tried to get it going again to no avail. The truck got very tilted and we got out.

A couple fedralis came by with guns.  They had the slingshot and fishing pole they took from the hippies.  They said the hippies were skinny dipping. The Federalis seemed drunk.  They moved on.  We walked back to the camp.

The next morning we came back, the battery was gone.  Where we could go for a new battery was written in the dust on the windshield.  We paid for that and a "cat" to come and help pull the truck out.  But as it got close to the truck it stalled.  The mexicans couldn't start it, so we left, a couple students stayed in mexico and the father came down and helped get out the truck.  The mexicans still couldn't get the "cat" started so they had to take the blade off the cat and let it roll to the side of the road to get out of the way so that the truck could pull the other truck out.

*******

 

 

Maesai

Travels, Culture and Knowledge

Over the years I had always put value on mobility, exploration, adventure to new places, meeting new people and changing where I lived if it suited me.  Having traveled a lot as a young person with my family, car, horse, boat, hitchhiking, or plane became other means. I went from living on an aircraft carrier, one of the better known ones, the Enterprise, to being on submarines, an ambition of youth. And then I moved on.

Many times I gave up possesions or position, sometimes of great value, and quickly, to be on my way again.

I had discovered a culture along the way.  This caused me to think.  In the west we had lost culture and gotten ideas, things.  But people were empty within, looking for themselves, hungry, angry, restless. People forgot the structure of what culture was, even scoffed at the idea because they didn't have it, knowledge passed down from the old world till now, and they stood in the wrong line or were born in the wrong line.

For those who notice they make their way back.

Others don't. Some of those scoff, they could but don't want to spend the effort to find the way back. To find out what it means to be human.

Always there are those who gather and save the knowledge of what is good.

The Jews have a culture. It has value and meaning woven into life.

Culture was a collection of pragmatic ideas, not always perfect, but they worked.

Christianity had taken all the teachings of Jesus, twisted and discarded them, and then in the end become sterile without culture of any form, unless bankruptcy can be a culture. My own father perceived a culture in passing, but also dismissed culture in part while searching for culture in part. A Scotsman.  My mother a Hungarian, also missing her culture, just one generation, looking back on how she sensed her culture was in Hungary.  We as children didn't fair so well. 

And as cultures are lost, as the knowledge that they have are lost, maybe also the knowledge of God is lost.  The knowledge of God is lost when people don't think that knowledge is important any  more without evidence that this is in fact the case.  Be it Akha or Jewish, there is a sense of obligation to a greater accountability than the individual.  Culture has a logic.  Christians are twisted because they come along and destroy this very model, and then try to replace it with a model they claim is nearly the same.  They wonder why they are sick, twisted, deceived and so accepting of the lie, cause they started out lying in the first place to cover up what they were really doing, economics of conquest.  The Christian model we have is one passed down from the crusaders, the conquistidors, and it has not changed a bit. Exploitation, enslavement and death.  While the merchants, armies and priests get fatter.

The loneliest people claim they need no culture.

People seek God.  The Bible is God?  The words of God?  If words are like light, an extension of the source, then are the words and God the same? We could understand God better than we do.  Understanding ourselves, understanding God, as compared to religion.

I have found that there are not so many people who can discuss God and His attributes as compared to those people who can discuss religion and their particular investment in it.

 

Coming to Northern Thailand

Before Thailand

I had been in construction work for years in the US. I was getting more comfortable with it, and increasingly wanted to get out of it.  With this in mind I took a trip to Asia to scout out what alternatives I might find to remodelling houses, my latest of many ventures over the years.

Construction work was always good cash, but at the end of the day I was burnt out, and had not much energy to relax on.

I traveled to quite a few countries but didn't have a whole lot of money for more of that so I stopped in Chiangmai, Thailand where I met a seasoned trader who I accompanied to the Burmese border at Maesai.  From him I learned a trick or two of the trade and began exporting different items to the US by 1990.  I hoped for a change in view and a change in life.  If you don't like the cast, change it, change the set, it's your theatre.

 

Story of Indian on Street in Salem

 

2001 Nov 25

The last twin Deaths?

Pah Nmm Akha

Two daughters were born to Ah Gaw at the hospital at Haen Taek from his wife who was from Huuh Yoh Pah Soh, an Ooh Loh villgae.  She kept Ah Gaw's little store and was always kind and pleasant lus she taught at the school and cooked at the school kitchen.

Ah Gaw was the younger brother of ah Soh, the Pah Luang.  His father was Ah Baw Chah, the brother of Ah Baw Zah who was the headman.

Ah Dzay was the other brother with two wives.

Ah Chah - ah soh and Ah Gaw

Ah Zah - headman

Ah Dzay  with the two wives.

Ah Gaw had the two baby girls at the hospital for two days then brought them home in the morning to the village so that they could be killed. 

Now I would never have believed that he would have done this.  Not all traditional villages do. 

Bpuuh Seeh said he was going to help Ah Gaw build a house out of the village near the school and they were going to stay there and I thought that this is what they would do so when I found out that the babies were already killed I was very angry about it.

The village took it in stride in one way, but it was a definite hand in the village that very much upset everyone and also my voice that I would have paid dearly for the two children.  At least I never dreamed Ah Gaw would have come home if they were born outside the village.

Some said they would stay in the Huuh Yoh Pah Soh Christian village. 

I could not tell if the village people had compassion underneath for the two babies or not, or if they did they just covered it up, it was way too complex for me, and soon I did not want to talk about it.  Ah Gaw and his wife went to live in the brush for several days and then left the area for the required one year.  Their house and possesions were taken away as well.

Some people spoke that Ah Gaw was a bad guy so this happened.  This was the second set of twins killed here but the first time I had  been in the village at the time.

Meeh Daw's father's younger brother had twins with his wife two years ago.

Seems the Akha have twins quite often.  Before that had been Booh Teehs' older sister in the village below.  They too had been killed.

But in the morning Ah Soh had come back with Ah Gaw and his wife and the twins.  Someone made the comment of it and I told them that they should not kill them.  I didn't know or thi nk that this was the plan and it was happeningat the end of the village at Ah Soh's house.

When they spoke of it I walked down there but when I got there the twins were already dead.  Ah Baw Zah put ashes in their mouth they said, but they were strong and would not die, so Ah Soh's mother put her foot on their chests or hit them with sticks, I don't remember which was said, but it was quite horrible to hear of it.  It did not make me dislike the Akha, I think it made me feel deeper compassion for how isolated they were from real help.  I don't try to understand all the ways of this, just to oppose it. The killings.

The twins were quickly taken to the jungle and buried.  I did not see them go.  Word slowly leaked out and I told the villagers that people would have paid any price for those children.

Ah Soh came by to say that they were ever so small that they would never have lived, but I  knew this was a lie in his ever deepening water.  The two children were registered at the hospital, but there was never much of an investigation of it and the children were also dead.

Then the next day a man from Pah Luang Sah Jeh's land came, a traditional Akha, he heard there were twins and he said not to kill them that many people would take them, but then he was very disappointed and upset when they told him the twins were already dead, and he got on his motorbike and drove away.  He wore glasses.

Because of the twins, their killing, the village did not work for three days.  The store was torn apart, Ah Seh, my father in law, siad that normally all of Ah Gaw's stuff would have been looted.  Some was in fact stolen.  His houe was torn down, and he and his wife left the village by a special route and slept in the forest with several men from the village to protect them. They would live elsewhere for 13 months.  They coudl only come back to visit and could not go into the grand mother's house.  People were forbidden to talk about it but in fact they all did.

Nobody in the villae could sew or work a needle for a month.  And no body could visit the villages for the rest of th is month.

But people could smoke opium, certainly not considered work, and their wivs and children could go hungry.

But since the hospital had registered the births and knew, word spread quick that the school wife had allowed her children to be killed.

There was the possibility that the police and army would come and arrest the killers.  Killers got punished short  by life around here.  Ah Djuuh beat Ah Myauh and her unborn baby died.  He was killed shortly later.  Ah Jung from San Chai killed many people and he was soon dead by his own hand.

The knife thrown comes back to cut off the head.

 

Missionary Excuses and Logic

 

Dear Matthew,

We can talk about these things until the cows come home, but it all

boils

down to one problem: you have a problem with God and the way He does

things.

His ways are not our ways, neither are His thoughts our thoughts.  You

must

remember that man fell out of favor with God, not the other way around.

We

only begin to prosper spiritually when we put our trust in Christ, and

Him

alone. For many this also means material prosperity. “Man shall not live

by

BREAD ALONE, but by EVERY WORD that proceeds out of the mouth of God.”

If

we only concentrate on feeding those who are hungry, and neglect the

condition of their souls, we are merely putting a band aid on a

festering

sore. The needs of the BODY are important, but the SPIRIT of every man

continues for eternity. There is nothing more important than helping

every

man to come into right relationship with God.

The worship of evil spirits DOES bring poverty, sickness, and all kinds of bondage. If you read the Old Testament you’ll see this to be true in God’s dealings with Israel. The worship of “other gods” brings a person into fear (the opposite of faith), whereas Jesus brings us peace and joy.  Why do you think Jesus said “Go into all the world and preach the Gospel.”? Because the Gospel of Jesus Christ delivers us from all bondage to the evil one.

Why don’t you stop pointing out all the faults of the missionaries?

I’ll

admit, we have many faults  - but we are only human.  Try looking around

you

and see that ALMOST  ALL the good works in the impoverished world have

been

accomplished by the Church. Look at the long -established hospitals  and

schools in Thailand and China, and you’ll see that most of them were

established by missionaries early this century - some of whom gave their

lives. Show me how many good works are done by the other religions or New Agers or Humanists or Greenies (save the whales, who cares about people).

Who is more involved than anyone else in caring for the thousands of

aids

babies today? Answer: Christians - and often at their own expense, many

having given up the so-called “good life” back in the west. Maybe they

don’t

quite do it the way YOU would like. I noticed you made the statement, “I

love the Lord”. If this is true that means you are a believer. But your speech and attitude betray a bitterness  in your heart against Christians.

If the Church ever hurt you, you need to forgive them, and get on with

serving the Lord.

“He who says he is in the light, and hates his brother [other

Christians] is

in darkness until now. He who loves his brother abides in the light, and

there is no cause for stumbling in him. He who hates his brother is in

darkness and walks in darkness, and does not know where he is going,

because

the darkness has blinded his eyes.”

(1 John 2:9-11)

 

No. It all boils down to the fact that you don’t agree with the way God

has

dealt with man through history. But let’s remember that IT IS ONLY

BECAUSE

OF GOD”S MERCY THAT WE ARE NOT ALL BURNT UP AND THROWN ON THE GARBAGE

HEAP.

If you truly are a believer, you better stop criticizing God and His

people

and get hooked up with what He is doing in HIS world.

Kind regards,

Rodney

 

At 03:25 PM 8/22/98 +0700, you wrote:

>Rodney:

>

>I am penciling theology here.

>

>I was interested in your comment that the reason the Jesus Film got

>progress was “because Jesus wanted it done.”

>

>What would you suppose I should think when infants die in the village?

>

>Do they die because Jesus wants them to die?

>

>I think we need to be very careful when we claim that something is the

>”Lord’s doing”.

>

>Not to be picky, but I think that many people are throwing their

weight

>around regarding God and the Akha, and living quite well while the

Akha

>suffer in poverty, and blaming this on the fact that they are not

>Christian this or that.

>

>Well I have proof that the Christians here are some of the least

>Christian people in the region, that they horde wealth and the good

life

>while Akhas die in poverty all around them, the Christians ears

stopped

>with cotton.

>

>I know that this may not come across well but I think it needs saying.

>

>I love the Lord, but I don’t agree with the way the “church” is doing

>the Akha and I can document what I say.

>

>Matthew

 

Signed

Rodney & Suzanne Gynther

P.O. Box 138,

Chiang Rai  57000

Thailand