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Akha Chronicles Add about The Project My work developed in time to where it had structure
and a life of its own, unwinding before me like a long road. The basic premise of my project was to stave off
premature mortality among the Akha and protect or
repair their food security while also protecting their choices. Raise the water all at once This was the goal of my project, to be long sighted,
to do some structural things that would help many Akha
not just one. The strong design of the work The weakest part of my work The weakest part of my work is financing the
projects. I was not reaching a large enough audience and not
enough money was coming in to finance the projects. I had many good tested ideas moving at a
snail’s pace because there was not enough money to finish them and
start another one. Some efforts were still experimental but the major
project categories had all been tested and implemented and it was just a
matter of repetition now. I was also in need of volunteers to just help in
doing the projects and increasing our reach. They needed to be people who
could understand what it was that they were looking at and knew what a paced
solution was. How this project progressed Income generation has been a big aspect of keeping
this work going. Money carries the
projects, built on good intelligence to their completion. One can not do without the other but
usually the money is the last in coming. After ten years I carefully made my way into the
heart of a village. This is no small
chore, to be surely located in a village.
As one can only do this in a traditional village by way of marriage. I run a project, I have a vision, but I also have a
life, wife, children, to make it all work together
is no simple task. Politics in the
village, politics in the family, and then the politics of them both working disparitely or
together adds to it all. With many setbacks I have survived and made it to
this point. Money continues to be the
chief limiting factor. Yet I have persued the options that I have through the outlets which
I can find, and often this has included confronting human rights
situations. Of recently it has been
stomping down on the army over their abuse and shootings, killings of the Akha people. I
have caught the police in the one region once now and they are more careful
about what is going on. The projects as of now could fall into five
categories 1. Medical Care 2. Safe water Wells 3. Literacy and literature in Akha Language 4. Gardens and seeds 5. Information and Advocacy And
lots of time visiting, paying attention to what was going on from as low of a
profile as possible. My feelings on the work With all of it’s shortcomings
and hassles I am not sure I would say the job is important but it is one that
needs to get done as deserving as any other. Mostly it is just long hours. A sense of being overwhelmed all the time,
frustration at seeing so many simply fixed problems which you can not fix
because there is no money. After seven years the path of what I wanted to do was
pretty clear, there was just a lot of work to do to make that all
happen. It was just large numbers of
simple problems to solve. Book Publishing List children's
workd books level 1,2,3 grammar grammar
in english with akha an
akha history anb akha history for children 4
lingual word books in akha, thai,
burmese, english and chinese akha
cultural encyclopedia akha
stories akha and christianity akha health
care akha leaderrship arts
and poetry / a photo exhibit village
maps and plotting akha
economics akha
agriculture lahu, palong, wa akha
environmental inmpact akha word
drills akha
phrase book akha
heritage foundation photography
needed to atttract interest letter
to valianatos material
donations financial
donations people
who would help share
the vision Mooh Jurh excatholic
priest, married after malaria, knows the language, lives in Tachilek knows
about Paul Lewis’s modification of the truth about the Akha A Days Work Oct. 4, 2000 Maesai, As per usual I woke up to a lot of email, questions,
potential articles and clarifications on information I was seeking. By mid day I had that done and more work on the Akha Journal. I drove down to Chiangrai
to seek out some more information regarding sterilizations and faulty
vaccines at one of the Akha centers. Sterilizations against the will of the women were a
problem still, he commented. But over all our discussion did not go so well from
an ordered standpoint, as I was trying to make progress on organizing some
action regarding these issues and it did not appear that I made any progress
on that. We talked about the missionary problem, that AhJay had lots of girls out of the villages. He was also talking about a new training centere. He didn't
take girls from just one village, complicating the matter, because he was
taking a few from this village and that village, high grading the girls
basically. I perceived a level of frustration deep enough that
it didn't want to come to the surface or either a lack of will to go directly
at the matters of concern. After leaving that office I talked to one fellow who
had vollunteered to buy a pump for the fish
project, but he was busy getting drunk, bought me a beer and said that he
really wasn't into it till later, you know, later, you know very later, but
gee I am still a good hearted guy. I headed back north, went on up to San Chai to find out what was going on with Nimit because I heard he was in jail. Sure enough, his son was having him dried
out. Would be gone at least a month to
get him off meth and heroin. Should have dried out years ago. Lah Gaw was there talking, and
he said he was still working for Leo on writing Akha
books about the Culture, but he wanted help teaching Akha
people to read. He said didn't do any
good to write books if no one read them.
I agreed. He commented on all
the money the missionaries had to turn the minds of the kids away from their
culture and parents but he wanted to do just the opposite of that. Meeh Chooh wasn't home, her
sister was and I wanted to see how she was doing. She could speak english
and I was always looking to find some way to coordinate some organization on
activism. I would have to go up and
speak with Ah Zeh more, he was in Huuh Yoh Akha but used to live in
the Huuh Yoh Lisaw village that the army moved, then did four years down
in the flat village in Huai Krai
before moving back. Cause
living in the flat lands sure didn't work. I sure had much work to do to get things organized
along these lines and it didn't help that there was not much money. Digging a Well Baking Bread First Aid Care The 4x4 and roads Cultural differences The differences between the culture of the Akha and people who would help them is
the very start of misunderstandings of the problems and their solutions. It takes a kind of cultural immersion to be
in a similar situation with the Akha to know about
these issues. Economic self survival program for villagers This would be different for each village but
definitely requires input of outside resourcesas
well as village networking. Education opportunities Educational
opportunities must go beyond just what is available via the local schools. Blue carts like one I bought I bought these two blue carts for two women. They paid it half back, and I told them to
forget the rest. And they had stories
to tell as well, their babies, one died, one aborted. Garden ground next to hut This would be a good idea, but there are a lot of
real basic problems that need to be taken care of first. One is that the Akha
need to learn that the world is NOT going to wait for them. Next they need to be more open and
responsive to ideas, ones they can test for themselves. But coralling their pigs and chickens would be a start. Most of the world lives on food that the
chickens don’t get first shot at. The Akha Nature Conservancy Enough books for one village, one trainer, one
trainee What is needed is a teacher training program to show
how the script is used and teaching skills.
Supplies are also needed. Trying to keep going here I have gotten up to many of the villages in I have tried my hand at baking bread, selling rubies,
selling self published books and taking people on tours. I enjoy the book publishing the most, and
the tours pay for food, medicine and more contact with the Akha but are tiresome. Tours are now hard to do because of fighting with the
army of Khun Sa which has cut the road a number of
times at a number of locations. Then
one night the insurgents raided Tachilek, burning
this and that and then retreating. A
few foolish men
stayed in some houses at the end of town where the river comes in. For their wisdom the Burmese troops blasted
them and burned down the whole neighborhood.
On would be witness said her husband saw where the Burmese army had
gutted them after capturing them. I
know they were captured because after the fire leveled a lot of houses, their
escape route was cut off and I saw them raise a white flag on a bamboo pole. There was a flurry of activity and then people
were led away quickly never to be heard of again. The 27th is Burmese Army Day and we are all expecting
a raid on Tachilek of bigger scale before then as a
humiliation. From the Thai standpoint, Maesai
would have a mini boom if half of Tachilek got burned
down. I
have a visa run and rent coming up.
The latter is more flexible.
The former not quite so. I go
to Cheng Khong for a Lao stamp but it costs 2,000
baht. Hardest Times in the Project The hardest times in the project were when there were
big bills but not any money one. And two, when there was some very important progress,
political progress a village needed to take the next step on and because they
either had no power, or perceived that they had no power, they lingered. The conflict with the Lahu
over the road, Jeh Boh Mooser, while helping Pah Nmm Akha was the most clear case.
The Christian Lahu acted no less than like
mafia trying to bully everystep of the way, the Pah Luang, I don't know how he stood up with the constant bullying
and the total lack of support from the Ampur's
office. Fundraising and Promotion This was a very difficult part of my work. People could say what they liked but it
remained difficult. I
spent incredible hours in the years of late building up a web site, I think I
had a pretty good one now, but the better it got the more it revealed what
needed to be done. The web site had a story to tell, and topical pages
on this and that are not always the best method for this. If there was a case of being too close to
the trees to see the forest, then building a web site can be like that. I had an email newsletter that went out to many
people, yet this did not raise much in the way of funds either. I linked the newsletter to web pages as
well, especially when human rights issues were involved. With time I saw the hits on the web site go up but
there wasn't any increase in donations as a result. Ultimately if you don't have donations you
don't stay in business. The web site was in two categories, problems and
projects to help the Akha. Lots of pictures in both regards. Sometimes I built the project up to the point where I
was getting a lot done and then it could come crashing down and end up in
total disrepair for more than six months.
This was very discouraging because I lost much ground when this
occurred and this meant a great drop off in crucial help into the villages. NGO's Affect: Belongs in NGO's I had known of Affect, the Akha
run center for culture that Leo set up for some time. Nowadays Leo didn’t have anything to
do with it, but that was because of a dispute about removing Ajew from the organization, and Ajew
was Leo’s wife’s brother.
It was said that Ajew had been arrested for
dealing heroin and fled to Would be interesting to know who informed them also
and why. At
any rate, Affect was trying different tacts under I left some t-shirts “Just Say ‘NO’
To Missionaries” and said that I would be back as often as
possible. Much different air than the
time I came and Ajew had rushed to the door and
done all he could to run me off during a meeting. Course from Paul Lewis and Leo on down,
people had always been trying to be the ‘gateway” to the Akha. Attu was quite cognizant of the situations but had missed
on one where someone from the Just as a note I should add, that the Akha feel that they can not raise twins at the same time,
so don’t allow them to live, or only allow one to live, or even give
one away, seems to vary, but if one gets to know the living conditions that
the Akha have survived it would appear that raising
two babies at the same time would just about do the women in. Affect sought to provide milk for the
mothers with twins, this lasted for a while, but the general assistance to
the people in the villages is very low, the need very high and the
exploitation (read the benefits taken from the Akha
for which they are not paid) is quite high. So unless a person can intervene and change
the economic reality of their lives people would be best to leave the Akha on their own.
In the west people abort children for convenience all the time, in the
millions actually, yet the rather rare event of killing twins is highly
condemned by westerners. A handful to
millions, where is the consistency in this? leo’s library never
visited adjew meeting
first time at som mah kohm he
comes out to hush me off because he figures he has something to hide, which
he did, selling heroin Brother
of Leo's wife from San Jaluen The "project" mentality Leo and the missing money Other The Computer The computer had nearly taken over my life because it
was the only way from Yet the extensive relationship and time spent in this
relationship became a life of its own, it was an absolute king, nearly bowed
down to. The most profound effect of a computer was that it
stole our desire to write which really was a part to a greater event,
reflection. By the computer I meant
this email and internet relationship which used the desire to write, that
energy, up just doing the business of communication, and then left nothing
for the self. Looking for a stable Balance Sept 2001 In my life now engaged so deeply in this work I look
for a stable balance that I can make of the work. No bigger, just better, an
internal peace and a project paeace, carefully
going about my work. And that in this stable form it wou
ld bring back more joy and rejuvenation. Disaster Sept 11, 2001 When the World Trade Centers were hit by planes on this day, I was in
an Akha village during the swing festival, and the Akha called us to see the hazy images on a village TV.
David Arora the mushroom expert was there and it
saddened us both deeply. More than
that, it stopped my donations coming in and I was already having a tough time
holding onto the building. I decided to move out, due to that and the
neighborhood drunks. Two or three falangs in
particular, Robert was one, a new zealand guy with
long hair who lived above a brothel, and Kevin, another who was an american computer expert who was drinking the rest of his
life away, some deep hurt driving him to the bottle and destroy himself. But the truck was in horrible repair and so it
required that I sell much of the equipment in the building to repair it and
make it road worthy since I would have to depend on it much more after the
building was gone and I was living in the villages. And still there wasn't enough money, and I
poured what I had into the truck and paid to haul what was left of the
building equipment to the mountains much of which I sorted and gave away when
I had the time. Disconnected, exhausted Sept 2001 Sometimes when one travels one can feel disconnected,
even lost off the flat world of friends and the familiar into the bigger
spaces. But also when taking a moment in themidst
of much burden and work one can say, "Where the hell am I?" and by
this I don't mean physically but in correlation to ones own place of
awareness and sense of belonging in life. This can also be a sign of exhaustion. I remember so well from mechanic days,
restless, on themove, exhaustion, getting a hotel
room near the highway, a lousy diet every day, crashing on the bed with the
shakes, turning the TV on just to hear human voices. My Akha Work Sept 2001 I didn't like to see how the Aka
were treated so now for these many years I tried to help them improve their
situation. I grew the project big enough that there were many
categories of both need and my organized effort to meet that need. Frankly it became too much far too much, yet I am not
so sure that discouraged me as much as it just made me tired. Course there were also a lot of times of discouragtement.
Bills to pay. Projects that
bogged down and were un completed, things like this. There was in the past much lightness in my mind especially
upon waking. This had gotten weighed down with toil and obscured from the
light till I experienced it seldom.
Those were feeligns of great joy and when I
wrote during these times my memory of it even my experience of it was much
better more intensely vivid. At 43 I had a guard in my mind that watched all I
thought about and hoped to write and t his guard also edited me down to nothing. Sometimes
the guard took orders frm me but many tmes he took orders fromothers,
and edit down to ntohing he did. Matter of fact he edited what I even
thought about to where a whole lot of freedom of mind was lost and I wrote
nearly nothing. And writing had alwasy been
what I enjoyed most. As we get older we get more in chains, not less, if
we are not careful. We do it to ourselves, being at disunity, at cross
purposes. Not eveyrthing we write
must have immediate meaning. The
important point is to edit nearly nothing, just write it down. Taking Care Jan 2003 I did not take care enough to myself and what I
enjoyed. Now I was in a hotel room and
coming to understand that this is what I wanted. That I had taken no time at
all to write, to give myself some leave of duties to do what I wanted to do
which was to work on this story of life in Thailand but also MY life and what
it was coming to, all the years gone by. For one thing here I was running this project, doing
all this information collection and pushing assistance out into the mountains
to these people and I had no money most all of the time and no funding and
was living pillar to post all the time.
My truck was broken down and when it wasn't I could not pay the bill
for having it fixed, so it lay hostage in the shop for many weeks till I got
it out again. Not nice. I had nothing to sell, sold everything was still in
debt. I didn't think much financially
of my work, didn't pound on so many doors to get money, not sure one should
blow their own horn. There were grants
to write but that too was a full time job and I would never have gotten the
information in the mountains had I sat in town on a phone line to do
that. The situation was really at odds
with itself. Gathering the funds was
one thing, doing the work another and I prefered
however broke to keep rolling in the villages and doing the work. Human
rights and security for the Akha. The Work Jan 16, 1999 The
work is going fine as far as being all lined out. Now
there is only very much a shortage of moneys. All
that I worked to organize is pretty much in order and now it is just a matter
of repetition. Raising Funds for the Ambulance When
I first bought the four door truck it was a great job. I
did not have enough donors and it cost $9000.
I got it down from that to $6000.
But then after that it was a real struggle that took me two more
months. Setting Limits Setting
limits for people is very important. Many
people don't set limits, but you have to if you are not going to have people
walk all over you and this is particularly true when you are trying to help
people. Planning My Strategy 1999
or earlier. The burden was on me.
There was much to do. I had ten
thousand dollars coming in by way of a donation and I needed at least thirty
to thirty five to do all that I needed to do. I had lots of obligations to resolve. I
needed to firmly anchor internet, phone, office and computers. At the same time I needed a vehicle, and also a truck
for hauling. There was no way I could do all three at present yet
whichever one I looked at was then most important. If I didn't do something about a bu
ilding and more space and computers I ran the risk
of loosing the interest of the language workers I did have. There
had to be some creature comforts like cooking and what have you, TV, etc, b ecause it wasn't all work nor coud
it be all work. A Lull in the stress Feb 8, 1999 A lull in stress.
I don't know how I find it sometimes at all. I got a call from the states that helped
jog the mind. Sometimes just meeting
someone here and talking to a hoepful face helps as
well. Part of the probem is there
is just way too much going on. Pieces
of this project and that, writing to do for email and so forth, tons. I miss h ow simple Maesai used to be.
A simple place
with simple friendships, a little too much spare time, etc, now it is
extremely crowded, hectic. Jogging off track onto new strategies helps. Getting past enough brain free time to be ableto relax the thi nkng resources of the
brain. Tyring to enjoy Maesai. Its an enjoyable
place but I get so busy I forget. The Project Finding
investment for the village Continuing
to Vitalize the project Village
Circuit Village
meds, journal New
Camera Akha
Report For WEB New
WEb Site tera-byte Challenges Cotton Red
Radio Moving
to the village Getting
a phone Stopping
the killings and night time shooting raids by the army Getting
opium smokers to quit Need
phone line and notebook computer, floppy drive, fire wire, sony repair, mpeg camera sony Digital? Journal Number One Email
Journal Year
98 A Thru Aug Wed,
29 April 98 Someone
suggested a weekly update for everybody as to what gives on this end of
things. So
here goes. Hope
that you are all well. Life
here bumps along in little starts and stops. When
there are funds some projects move forward, when there aren’t, those
projects wait while other things get done such as computer data entry. Thank
God for nice portable Apple computers. Right
now let me give you an overview of all the projects: 1. Language
resource development. The
Akha language has very little literature in it. In
order to build a dictionary, a wharehouse of words
for would be writers, you have to collect literature. It is sort of a catch 22 situation. At any rate, there are about 6 or 7 books
and I am working to get these books tranlated into
the new script which I have designed and then these books will have english parallel text added to them so that not only are
they available in the new text to Akhas but they
will also be able to serve as helps for learning the language and learning
more about the culture. I
am also working on building this wharehouse of
words (what we call a corpus) by paying Akha’s
to write me lists of words. So far I
have about 3,000 words entered into the computer. I figure that I will end up with more than
60,000 words. So just a little bit of
work to do. Then
there is a grammar which I paid to have written up and it needs to be added
to and then entered into the computer with parallel english
text. The
only Akha language video there is is a video tape done by world vision about AIDS so I have
had that written out and will be adding parallel text to it as well. This process takes about three steps. First you have to pay someone to write it
all down, that is in the old script because it is
the only one people know and there are only a few people who can write
that. Then you must pay someone else
to move it from the old script to the new script. Only two people know how to do that and one
doesn’t want to work so a 17 year old Akha
girl does it all. A slow process,
about ten hand written pages per day.
After that it has to go to another person who adds the parallel english text. 2. NT
project. This is one of the books that is currently being converted. Once converted to the new script I give the
pages to a computer school and the teacher enters it into the computer. It is a little too much data entry for me
with all the other stuff I have to do.
The script conversion is 25% complete.
After it is in the new script it will have to be edited for acuracy and some problems corrected. Then a parallel english
text will be added for the internet copy, and the single text version can be
printed. At present distribution of
the NT is very controled by the bigger
denominations and is quite expensive by standards here, about $6 if you can
lay your hands on a copy. 3. Children’s
book project. This
is for the literacy project. The words
and example sentences are done and I am now waiting for the sketches that go
with each workd to be finished, then the text of
the book must be edited. Then a lot has
to be added to the front and back of the book like grammar and penmanship
drills. When
the press is paid off, $1500 is owed, then I will begin printing on about
5-20,000 copies of this book which will be around 100 pages long. Another printer will make up the 4 color
cover. That
many copies will cost a couple thousand dollars at most. For villages in 4. Culture
book project. Many
of the old people who have knowledge of Akha
culture and law are passing on, so I want to get a book done in both Akha and English about Akha
law, customs and culture. There is
great misunderstanding about this history on the part of foreigners and no
good books on the subject. 5. Wells
project. This
is a new and very exciting aspect of the work here. The first well is done although it will
need to be upgraded. The village
workers thought it was deep enough, I disagreed, but sometimes the object
lesson is the best lesson. So we will
need to chip the slab away from the top concrete casing, then lift all the
casings out, 17, and dig out all the gravel, about two truck loads, that
surrounded the casing, and then go down another 10 feet so that even in low
season there is enough water. It would
also be nice to put a small electric pump on the well so that all the hand
pumping is saved. Of course a small
electric pump means more waste, so you have to have a little extra to draw
from. That will cost about two hundred
dollars to do and the village is ready to do it when I get around it. The pump will cost about $140. Then
when i get funds I will be doing well number 2 in
another village. About
$1000 to $1200. The
well project was an extreme success.
Placed in the center of the village, it gives them easy access to
quantities of clean water for washing, bathing and drinking that they
didn’t have before. Neither do
they have to walk long distances for dirty water. The well is deep and sealed and that
prevents contamination. Wells
that are shallow can be contaminated by debri,
chemicals such as paraquat which is a nice little
killer, and human refuse. So
the well makes life much easier on a village.
They say water made people so that it could get from one place to
another. Water is very happy right
now. Well
projects will continue to be one of the best cost effective ways to improve
village life and health. In
the future I dream of getting a small well drilling rig so that I can put
wells of the drilled type in even the most remote mtn
village where you have to go much deeper to get water unless you are working
with a spring. 6. The
medical project is slow right now. Roads here are not good and I am in dire
need of a 4x4. The motorcycle, which
is paid off, though a real good thing, is not very safe and when you must put
on lots of miles it is risky. As well many
mountain villages are already not accessible due to the rains, and the trips
in are long. Blane
knows what these roads look like. So
with the rains about 98% of the villages are off limits and with the long
trips in and out it is impossible to bring any sick person out with so little
traction. There is the greatest need for a 4x4. This will radically change the nature and
impact of medical services to villages from one of hit and miss to one of
reliability. At present the situation
is comparable to living in As
I have money I am distributing wormer in the villages for children six months
and older. This has been a great
success with the health and weight put on the children very noticeable and
the parents all commenting about it.
Just a little bit of the gospel I think. So
those are the main three projects and the associated needs. 1.
Building the language in writing Recording the history of the people Encouraging people to write about their
culture, their lives. 2.
Wells 3.
Medical work A
typical week goes like this: Many hours on computer communicating with people
about the project. Web
page upgrading and revisions Many hours entering Akha
text into document form Visiting villages, taking out medicine Last night
making swing repairs in village with well Spending hours in villags hearing about their lives, building
relationships, building language and culture skill. It take a lot of
time before you get parts of the picture and know what is going on. Finding an artist for the children’s
book, found one, price is right, about $100 for 220 sketches of
2”x2” size. Got
back video script. $20 Taking Burmese language lessons. Paying
for a tutor of english for the book transcriber
girl, Meeh Jooh Looking
for another Akha tutor who can speak english, very hard to find. Taking
people to the dentist Sometimes I pull teeth myself in the villages if the
tooth doesn’t look like it can be saved. They have an interesting way of handling a
toothache here. The place the flat side end of a heavy chopping knife on the tooth and strike
it flatly with a piece of wood. The
impact on the tooth “resets” it and relieves the toothache in
many cases. The
cook was sick for three days One
house burned down in village next to hers Working
on plant propigation techniques Taking
more photos and video in villages Visited a distant mountain village to suss out some projects People visit for medicine Talking
to Akhas in search for more people who can be
trained to transcribe books into the new text as I have about five or six
more to do. Clean up trash left in a village by a party that
another village put on. Locate
source of a good electric pump that can pull water up from 50 feet. Help
rewire a light in a hut that happens to have electric on the Thai side. Enter
a thousand Akha words and phrases into computer
Kill a few rats in my room. Get
rid of a foot long lizard that lives in the wall and barks like a sick duck
at all hours of the night. Called Toka ( toe-kay)
lizards. Ugly things, big thick bodies
and fat stubby tails. Eyes big as
grapes. Saving
up $50 so that I can get the septic pumped of the girl’s house who is
working on the script. No toilet for a
month I find out yesterday. They hate
to impose. Trying to sell jackets for the Akha
women who sew them, may have one sold for 2,000 baht which is about $50, and
considerably more than the 300 they would normally get for them. That money goes all to them to encourage
the work in the traditional ways.
Having the girl who transcribes the books teach the cook how to read
and write so she can tell her life story in her own language. And
so it goes. No emergencies this week because I can’t get into very many
villages to hear about them. David
Atkin our attorney is coming soon. Looking
forward to that. And that is this weeks
update. Hope
you all stay well. Getting
more rain here now as we slowly ease into the rainy season in about a month
or so. All the fruits are in full
production here as the hot season reaches its peak. Does
anyone have email
for Brian? (for
those on the board) Matthew Behind on the Bills Much of the time now I am running to keep it all
going. I know I am making progress but
deep down my heart does not feel good, like th ere
is something missing. Part of it is becuse of the
bills and so far behind. This is
robbing my peace. At this date then is the baker to finish, the fish
tank well to finish digging, the press, tires and other repairs for the
truck. And also I am not writing as much as I used to do.
This also leaves me something missing. So now on almost n o funds I am juggling to keep
afloat. My mind is m uch short of
money making ideas. My little boys are growing up. Isaac and victor. Meeh Daw as well. I have hopes to help the Akha
with Tea, coffee, fruit trees and a new truck for hauling it all. But I can't even do my rent. The entire project depends on all the power of my
soul and thought and skill to keep moving forward. I am endlessly chalenged
to do better but my total sum is either not best applied or not enough. I am not fooled that there will be some good economic
quick fix. People who are not here
doing what I am doing believe in that from their distant comfort zones. I meet magical people, like lone pilgrims who flit by
my path and gaze, share many ideas and energy and then are gone, this is all
I have. Much of email and the internet is waste, people
wanting knowledge and information while giving nothing back. Vitality of the Project In this project it is always a lot of effort to keep
the viitality of the project alive, keep moving
efforts in the village forward and at the same time have progress to report
via email to friends. Sometimes, no, many times this was very discouraging
because there were so little funds that I had to work with. You can't make something out of notthing. Just getting out to the villages was a large fuel
cost. I was bent on getting the printing press and having
books to delvier. Very frustrating to date. Slow Projects Many projects that I planned and got done took a long
time to finish. There was much effort
to bu ild one's way into
an Akha village, or to get a project done as there
were many hurdles and hold ups. You
really had to hold onto the vision with exceptional patience to do it all. I tried to do projects as segments, till they were
done, lots of mini events till the bigger project was completed as often I
did not have the tiny funds to do it all in one swoop. When not much appeared to be happening I went around
and pushed this or that small event, moved at this, finished at that, never
resting once understanding that all these small events could be pushed
forward. As well good work, for me, takes lots of time to
think. Writing is a direct relationshiop of how happy I am and how settled my heart
is. Surviving this Job Bottom line was that I survived. My project, my goals, all survived. My visions survived. And I kept moving it all forward. Many times it was very painful, and when it
all came smashing down in this piece or that piece sometimes my heart had nthing to survive on, the pain of sould
no answer got, sorrow only, and the joy fleeting away. The feeling of an empty soul. Something beautiful torn to shreds down stream never
seen again. Nature of my work Jan
2, 2002 Nature of my work changed and focused with my full
move to the village. My bills dropped
quickly but I still had old bills to pay.
About 2,000 dollars. But the information that I got at the village level
and the potential for intervention grew very mcu. I wasn't so far from getting a p hone line to my
location in the village. I was using flyers and getting actually more visitors
to the project now. I had succesfully made the
transition to the village but now the bill on the truck repair was killing
me. We had a meeting We had a meeting where we talked about alerting the Akha to human rights abuses and that they should inform
me of each one and I would make reports. UN Report I
have to collect all these reports of abuse and then file them with the UN. WE got 8 days Eight
days of articles in the Bangkok Post on the killings of the Akha by Army and Police. Frustration The frustration of my job was ack
of resources, here I was on the edge of the situation, in full opportunity to
do a lot and nearly no resources. I didn't need a lot, but I needed some. It was very frustrating to endlessly witness the need
of the Akha, often desperate need, difficult health problems and not have the money to fix
it. Having just recovered from malaria I could feel their
difficulty so much more. The fish project Lack
of Progress The
long house was lived in 2001 off to a new start. There
was still the digging and the pump work to do, I think nearly 20-25,00 baht would finish that. The
fish tanks grew a tremendous growth of surface hyacinth. I wondered what they could be used
for. But
with a poump I would soon have a massive year
around vegetable garden growing everythign
imaginable. There were still catfish living in the water, the
cover growth saved them from the heat.
Tanks covered with this would be best for starting new fish in. The little ones. The long house prperty had
lots of potential. I wanted to get the
looming and dying going here, planting cotton and dye plants. There was also room nearby for a dance arena. I had very much to do. Also it was very obvious I needed to buid a grants data base, for finding money. Struggle and Peace Life here is not as bad as it used to b e. My infra structure projects are close to
being completed, more solutions and money coming along. Each morning I wake up to fresh hope, and vision for
what new steps my work will take. Difficulties of Developing This Work The
closer I get to finishing a phase of the project
often the more difficult it gets again. The
bakery, need a
bigger mixer. Teh fish tanks, need to finish well dig. The
press, etc. No
major obstacles, just not enough funds to do what needs to be done. State of The
project is moving along but there is not near enough money for the most basic
services. The
fish project is waiting for the money to finish the dig. The
press has yet to be purchased. There
needs to b e about $500 per month in fuel and tire money alone in order to
get out to all the villages. $1000
would cover repairs and food. I drove
a lot, something people didn't realize, it took this if you were going to
really know what was going on. I
know I am still not where I want to be but better than the last year. Tight Money Financially Dec. was very hard for me during the
first two weeks after malaria not because of the malaria but because there
was no money nd I lived on nothing but oats. But then around the 15th I had the encouragement that
the Good
reports came back soon after that, but won't know if any money wil be raised till later.
The hope is that there will be and Lorenzo has tried harder than any
other to do so, but it can still fail. These things are always more difficult than one
thinks. My Day Easily Spins It
is monday 30 Oct. 2000. Hard to believe all the same day. Last night I had a late meeting. The clutch went out on the truck saturday. So sunday I rented a motorbike, Checked the fish tanks, then
my meeting ran past midnight but still
wnet into the mountains to see Ah Chhooh, she is so dear to me, and my son Victor Ah Soh. They were
shaping at past 2 Am when I came up the mountain to the village out of the
fog. I checked them, the struggled to
sleep against the chill and a wind that shook the hut intenseley. On stilts. I woke up early, my wife brought me my son, he is so
beautiful, such incredible face and perfect eyes. After a quick cold water splash shower I checked the bookmarkes the women were sewing for me. Then a quick breakfast and down the hill through the
army checkpoint again. And al the way 90 kilometers back to maesai. The wind
pushes hard against the body making me tired as I drive the motorbike. My tail goes to hurting too. Back in maesai I turn in
the motorbike, shave, brush my teeth, check email, and then take 10,000 baht
of the 25,000 to packett to repay the 20,000 loan
that I had with him. He is good to me
but likes no bull. The clutch must be
replaced and starter, steering joints, brake line, welding and a few bolts. Now I head to Chiangmai to
get passporty insert. Then must be back tomorrow night and pay
the 15,000 baht Wed. Then I must get
another 15,000 for the I have to go to A friend of his wife, her father wants her to go to We
interupted it. Fish The first fish had fattened . I ate of the salted and barbecued, they had oil and
flavor, tiny ones only, delicious when you felt especially like something
salty. I took them to the mountains often for the
families. You had to pick them
carefully, they weren't all the same.
Some were very wet, the bags full of water drippings, others were dry,
and it was the latter one wanted. First Fish Cloth Problem I was in a real fix.
I ordered the cloth and then the money dropped way off. Should have taught me a lesson about
business. The man was really pissed
off naturally at how long it took me to pay for it. I had at least one other account like this
too, a lousy way to do business.
Ambition. Fine Tuning My work remained select in the not many besides the Akha whom I worked with understood it. This
didn't discourage me, I knew that with time my work woud
grow in effectiveness as I aquired the resources I
needed and improved contacts. There were actually only a few things I neede in order to have a substantial presence. Often it was the established presence that
caused people to give further. There was the potential that I might win some fish
tank funds from the EU. If I did so
that would mean a lot more tanks, a pump, piping and lots of fish. Bills Sometimes money just stopped. For very long periods of time. And then all the bills would go unpaid and
often two or three months people were sure I was intentionally trying to
cheat them. Wasn't fun for me. I tried to keep
my "exposure" to a minimum but still I had some. 22 Feb 2000 Cycles of Work on Project My
work with the Akha often went in cycles. Sometimes there was lots of mone and it prgressed very
well. Other times I both ran out of
money and rached a planning plateau for my next mve. Usually the
next move was regarding funding of the next phase. Or it was finding a newxt
level of drive after
having reached some success. Whith so many details to the project mental organization
was a major issue. And keeping
organized as to how to support the work was truely
important. So there were really two
tracks occuring, the first all the in field
details, needs in this and that village, a major broblem
looming and so forth, some villae to visit. And
track two was how to finance it all. Also on track one, as one got to know more informatin about the Akha sitaution one needed to constantly recalibrate goals such
that the needs of more and more were met. This
takes much meditation. On occasion, times like these, I might stop in and
have breakfast at the Maesai Top North hotel, go to
the bridge, or som such,
wander my thoughts in a decidely unfocused
way. Occasionally a chiang Mai trip was in order. Vollunteers Managing Vollunteers Also
the difficulty of donors and funding. New: Insert Books Books or....
Akha Books
Now
I load Akha Books on the internet for other people
to see and read. So
much book work to do, computer time. A
word handbook, an Alphabet book, a reader, a journal. This
is the most successful part of the work in some ways. Cause once you start keying it in the hard
part of compiling it is done. While a few books get produced I get further and
further behind. I need to print so
many of the existing books. I am also working on my other writing to put it on
the net but all the Akha work comes first and there
is a lot of that to do. An Akha
Journal, in addition to the e-mail journal is a reality,
I only struggle to get it all up to speed and on a more regular basis. After
Ten Years After some ten years, I understood what I was going
to get done, didn't bother much with the doubters, and knew very well that
there would be many obstacles. I just kept going on. Day in, day out, ranging
over a vast number of villages and problems, from dealing with the army,
missions, forestry, medical people, and the very different personalities of
each and every Akha and Akha
village. The scoffers died, left,
quit, grew silent. The missionaries
ran out of time and went home. My job
went on. The Akha
came to know that slowly I cycled through the villages. I fixed what I could, and moved the book
publishing incrementally step by step forward. My satisfaction is that I now understood much of the
problems and what caused them. I
understood what would have to be done to make repairs in some cases and try
and give the Akha better choices to best determine
for themselves how they would go.
Often just the little nudge or encouragement was enough to get a new
event going, a new round of courage on the part of a village. I was often
disappointed that I could not do more for these people so often living on a
string, constantly afraid of being forced to move as they had felt for at
least fifty years now if not longer. They accepted that I was mostly broke though some of
the projects sometimes did amazingly lurch forward an unexpected distance. What was most frustrating for me was that I could not
explain what I would do if I could only lay my hands on more money with which
to do it. And so for the most part I
kept my dreams to myself. It did not
do well to talk of them only to see years go by without them materializing. In the end, though I suppose it has been worth it,
agonizingly slow in making progress, certainly I saved the lives of a few
people, held off the destruction of certain villages, and sowed some seeds of
hope where there hadn't been many. But
I would never know if it had been worth the years and years of my life I had
given to it, mostly misunderstood by spectators and those I desired to help. After many years, some of the Akha
understood what I was trying to do, because surely they had not seen anyone
try at it so long. They even
commented, that they themselves would never have stuck to such goals for so
long, as good as they were. It was the hope of accomplishing a number of small
projects that I set out to do, that seemed so close, that carried me on. In reality even those projects, and ones
they brought with them, carried on for years. I hoped to use whatever I knew from the western world
to assist the Akha during rapid changes in
economics and the social structure. I hoped to save knowledge. So that knowledge can be
shared and passed on to kids who got cut off from their own culture. In that I hope to record as much as
possible from the elderly. I hope that the Akha can
take all that they are which is unique and valuable and good and use it to
increase their chances for survival. End Have a comment or question? Like to know
more? Send me an email at akha@akha.org |